Moving Across the Country and Reinventing Yourself: It Worked for Me
Posted on 13. Oct, 2008 by Laura-Jane - Whimfield in Inspirations
When we decided to move across the country, I was prepared for a lot of negatives. I didn’t know what to expect. I was afraid of the cold. We were leaving our families behind.
Oh, I knew there’d be positives, too. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have done it! But one positive that I hadn’t given much thought to was being able to reinvent myself. Being able to shed all of those vestiges of teenage-hood.
I grew up in a small town. I’d had my fair share of popularity as an early teenager, which led me to high-school. In high-school, I found my social status slip from popular, to sort of popular, to “loser”, and, finally, to outcast. But I hadn’t thought that I’d adopted these statuses myself. I hadn’t felt like a “loser.” I hadn’t felt that “weird.” I’d thought I was pretty happy with myself and who I was. Even during high school, I tried to convince myself that I was above all that.
After graduation, I moved to a larger city and left my small town up-bringing behind. I asserted myself. I felt good about who I’d become.
But occasionally, I’d encounter someone from high school. Immediately, I’d revert back to who I used to be. I was someone that no one thought to stop and invite to…anything. I was someone that no one bothered to consider.
So when I’d encounter someone from high school, I’d walk in the other direction with averted eyes.
I thought I’d put it all behind me. But chance encounters with people who saw me as less than what I really was put me right back in that place–back in high school all over again.
Being here, in a new province 6000 kilometres away from all of that, has let me shed those feelings for good. I realize that I was afraid of failure. I was afraid to prove those people right. I was afraid that I was going to realize that they were right.
Sometimes I don’t realize how something was affecting me until I’m through it and on the other side.
I’m not an escapist. I didn’t leave to escape my past. But when I did leave, I shed all those old expectations and statuses that didn’t fit. I’m not sure exactly what it is. Maybe it’s just a part of growing up. Whatever the cause, I’m coming into my own. I’m no longer afraid to fail. I could yodel my dreams from a hilltop with no hesitation. I no longer care who might see me, defeated, chasing down broken dreams all over a hill-side. What do other peoples’ opinions have to do with me?
I’m taking risks. I’m taking more risks than I ever thought I would. I might succeed and I might fail. But I don’t care. I’m giving it my all, and it sure feels good.
Toni
Oct 14th, 2008
I don’t think you were ever considered a loser. I think you were nocturnal- which made you not really ever know what you were. haha…. You were always the pretty one, you were sweet, funny, talented and smart. You made something of yourself and all of us, who are still stuck in the ‘little town’ are somewhat jelouse of you and all of your courage and freedom. You have broken away from the ’soap opera’ that is here and have a life that we admire. ( I will only become jelouse if you end up with your land full of animals… hehe )
Laura-Jane
Oct 14th, 2008
Awwww, Toni, I love you!!!!!!!! But you knew that already.
sassymonkey
Oct 14th, 2008
Great post Laura. :)
Nora
Oct 14th, 2008
We moved to the Island Dec 19*, 2003. So far we have had rats in our bedroom, we bought our house on the internet…….not a good idea. It was a former drug house……..we did meet a few people that way ha ha. We had to re drywall alot to get rid of the mold from the drug business. We’ve learned to install new windows…….siding………we had no kitchen to speak of. We have a beautiful one now……..we built ourselves. Our house is 130 years old, we fortunately have insulation and a working wood stove and an oil furnace that we try very hard not to use. We have 17 acres and like you have many edible products that we discovered our first year here. We did find a “few” problems when we moved here…….like the pump not working for the well and turning on taps and the water going on the floor……….I thought we moved into the Amity ville horror house when we seen the amount of flies in our bathroom…yucky. The first year was interesting and around the third time we had to be towed out of our driveway we learned to park at the end and hike our way up to the house. I’ve had a good laugh reading your blog…..remembering all the frustrating moments of our first year….unlike you we moved here with 3 children who had to adjust to a new place……..but they can go places and you don’t have to worry as much. I loved your blog on the full mesh bug wear……..being from a city in Ontario we never really experienced black flies or enough mosquitos to eat you live…..I to have the bug wear. I don’t know if we will ever get used to it. We have gotten chickens………..its only a 12 week commitment if you only want them for eating………its better if you have a barn to put them in. I loved your pictures of the farm machinery….everywhere we look there is something new to find……….Good luck with your “new” home. Have to go, need to install another toilet……….consider yourself lucky……….at least you didn’t have bug infested carpets that had to be removed before you could even let one of your children go in the room……….6 days before Christmas….I know stop procrastinating the toilet will not install itself LOL. Keep blogging its fun to hear someone elses story of packing up and starting a new life……
Lisa
Oct 15th, 2008
Dont forget either… the high school losers are the people who are most successful later in life.
Anon.
May 2nd, 2011
Hi – great post! I know this is belated, considering you wrote this in three years ago, but I just found your blog and this post really resonated with me.
Having recently seen a remarkable change in another person who moved far away (night and day kind of change, now abroad in a new place and culture, with no past ties), it convinced me that it’s so worth it to just let go of the past and try a new home town or, even, country, if you think your history is holding you back.
And who knows, that history might not even be yours, per se – it might go back generations. You’ll always be the local minister’s daughter, dentist’s grandson, something like that. Somehow, like you described so well, you just slip into a role. It is interesting how that happens. Perhaps a change of scenery allows you to finally set yourself free, and let yourself become the person you always wanted to be, free of familiar expectations.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!