Whimfield

If You Build It…

Posted on 17. Jun, 2008 by Laura-Jane - Whimfield in Life Dream, Personal

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I am sitting on our bed wearing long-johns in June.

I am denying myself the urge to scratch a very tempting mosquito bite on my unshaven calf.

I am holding a “Montague Intermediate School” mug of hot chocolate in one hand, drinking it greedily.

I am glancing around this unfinished room, seeing work that needs to be done.

I am fantasizing about non-home-renovation-related projects, such as playing my cello, baking cakes, writing letters, writing stories, making bad art, wearing skirts, visiting friends, visiting neighbours, swimming in pools. Fantasizing about lying down on warm grass and feeling sun through my clothes. Fantasizing about long meanders in the woods and creative inspiration.

All of this fantasizing about free time reminds me of the old days, when I was in University and wanted to do more than my schedule allowed. Oh, and I suppose it reminds me of when I was working full-time and I wanted to do more than my schedule allowed… When will I ever learn?

The silver lining this time, though, is that I still believe that the free time will come; if we believe it and make steps towards having more time to do as we wish, it will have to come true eventually.

And so, for now, I bide my time and appreciate tiny moments of time-freedom, such as right now, while I drink hot chocolate and write to you.

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