Archives for category: Inspirations

Swirl Means Love

August 25, 10 //

I forget the specifics, but a few days ago Cameron used the word “swirl” to describe love. He may have said something along the lines of, “You make my heart swirl.” (Or something to that effect.) And ever since then I can’t get the word swirl out of my head; whenever I think of him or love or happiness the word swirl pops into my head.

For example, when I see this picture of Cameron I think swirl. Swirl just encapsulates everything. Swirl is love and laughter and connection and caring and history and future and unity between two people and eye gazing and hand holding and everything else love can and is and will be.

Sometimes I wonder about what it means to be together in a relationship for a long time. But I have come to appreciate the history in relationships, all those remember whens and can you believe we used tos and the that reminds me of the time whens. Reminiscing about the past can be great for a laugh, but that can’t be all that keeps you together.

You’ve got to have plans for the future. There’s got to be next year lets’ and maybe someday we cans. And, of course, you’ve got to have that ever important piece of the puzzle: swirl.

Make Time for Fun – The Rest Falls Into Place

August 7, 10 //

I am busier than I’ve ever been in my entire life, I think. But this Summer I’ve still been making a lot of time for the good, fun stuff: like beach days and nibbling peas from our garden before the sun rises.

I credit a new trick for my productivity. I’ve started using a Steve Pavlina anti-procrastination strategy: plan all your fun stuff regardless of what else is going on in your life. And by “plan” I mean schedule it. Make the fun stuff happen, regardless of how busy you are.

Because when you plan the good stuff in advance it forces you to buckle down and get to work on the bad stuff. For example, if you know that you’re going to spend Saturday at the beach (good stuff) then you’d better make good use of Friday night and accomplish the things that you usually put off (bad stuff).

See? Simple, yet effective–for me anyway. I need to trick myself. And even though I realize I am tricking myself, it still works. That’s the beauty of it.

Signing off. This weekend should involve another beach day, a walk to our blueberry patch, and other good stuff. Slotted in along the way will be the bad stuff. But that’s okay.

Window Treatments

July 29, 10 //

Did you know that when you live in the country you don’t need curtains or blinds on your windows?

Outside it’s just the birds and the trees. And why would you need blinders from that?

Hydrangea Snowball Bush

July 22, 10 //

I’ve written at length about the craziness of the seasons and how strange it is to think that the bleakness of winter turns into luscious green foliage.

Case in point… Our hydrangea bush.

In winter, you might not even notice it. No, you might mistake our hydrangea bush for some upright sticks protruding through the snow up toward the sky.

But in Summer when you bumble up our country driveway and approach the house, you can’t help but notice the sprawling hydrangea bush, which gets bigger every year.

So please take care of the sticks in your life because you never know what a little sunlight and warmth could reveal.

Whimfield veggie garden 2010

July 15, 10 //

Rome wasn’t built in a day. And let me tell you something straight up–how it really is.

When you move across the country and start a thousand projects you cannot do everything that you want to do. And it drives you mad and bonkers.

And people might ask you if you’ve been to the farmers’ market or have you planted a big veggie garden or where are your farm animals or do you have kids your answer is NO NO NO because we can’t do it all.

This is our third Summer here on Prince Edward Island and it has taken us this long to have a real vegetable garden. Our veggie garden is a mess and we don’t know what we’re doing, but we’ve got a big garden none the less.

When I think back to my parents and where they were in life when I was born I realize how far they’d come by the time I came around. Between them they had a Master’s Degree and a PhD, a small acreage, careers, two other children, two cats and an orchard.

We are all born with nothing. And we grow and learn and become part of an existing family. We choose (or fall into) careers. We move out and make a home for ourselves. And eventually we have a family of our own, be it a spouse, children, support system or animals.

So today I am proud of my garden. Proud that we’ve gotten this far in our journey.

I can see myself on this trajectory of life now. Enjoying every step of the way for what it is, but also seeing my life as a whole. Thinking about the big picture.

Speaking of the BIG PICTURE, here’s an exercise for a rainy day. (I got the idea from a book. It’ll only take seven minutes so just do it, okay?)

Draw a big squiggly snail. Plot decades on it. Write “the end” in the centre. Plot everything that’s already happened, like this:

Next comes the fun part. Plot your future. Your ideal future. Not a ridiculously ideal future, just a future that could become true if you work hard and have a little luck. Go ahead. Write it in. (It’s not as easy as it looks. Believe me.)

Write your future. I will if you do.

(But I can’t show you my future because my dreams are mine own.)(But my garden is yours.)

Believe While Others Are Doubting

April 22, 10 //

I am reading this book right now. In the book I came across the following, which was first written by William Arthur Ward:

Believe while others are doubting.

Plan while others are playing.

Study while others are sleeping.

Decide while others are delaying.

Prepare while others are daydreaming.

Begin while others are procrastinating.

Work while others are wishing.

Save while others are wasting.

Listen while others are talking.

Smile while others are frowning.

Commend while others are criticizing.

Persist while others are quitting.

To me, this is Cameron’s motto. The above is, like, Cam in poem form.

In an interview by CBF, the author wrote this about us:

“Cameron Lerch is a lucky guy, and his life is chronicled in hundreds of photographs, anecdotes and poems; indeed most of his thoughtfulness gets recorded online.”

Cam, do you feel lucky that I write these things about you? I feel lucky to be with you, especially these days. And I know you feel lucky to be with me, too! I have heard that the magic elixir for love and happiness in a relationship is to want to make the other person happy 100% of the time. And at the exact same time the other person in the relationship wants to make you happy 100% of the time. See how that works? If perfectly balanced, that would be perfect.

Well, I certainly cannot say that either of us do that 100% of the time. That would be a bit much, don’t you think? But lately I do like to think we’ve been trying to listen and be kinder and nicer and more thoughtful. It feels good to be nicer and kinder and more thoughtful.

I used to think that a perfect relationship is when you are 100% comfortable and could blurt out snappy comments when you’re in a bad mood and just let it all hang out, sweatpants and all. But I have come to realize–and learn, the hard way–that perhaps that’s not the ideal romantic relationship. Perhaps the ideal is a little more like work. Well, not work. But effort. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My point is, I like Cameron. I like what he is, how he looks, and how he thinks. I am at a point now, after almost 12 years together(!) where we’ve almost come full circle. I feel differently about our relationship. I’ve stopped doubting and started really loving.

From the same book, “There are two things to aim at in life; first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”

In a Perfect World

March 11, 10 //

While driving in the country, a phrase on the car radio popped out at me, “What kind of person do you want to become?” For fun, I tried to imagine my perfect future. I tried to imagine the kind of person I want to become in ten or fifteen years.

I really couldn’t imagine my one perfect future. I could see a million mes, a million futures. How do you know which path is right for you? How can we choose?

I am very goal oriented, and I live with someone who is always dreaming. Always looking forward. Always thinking about what’s around the next bend.

It’s good to dream. It’s good to plan. It’s good to be moving toward a goal. But I am starting to question the validity of setting another goal.

I’d always imagined that once we moved here everything would be settled. That would be it. The goal would be achieved.

But Cameron’s always thinking. Always dreaming. Always looking around the next bend. He’s wise, and he’s got our best interests at heart. I mean, let’s be practical here. We’re financially stable, but what if we had children? And what about retirement? Shouldn’t we always be moving forward, saving more, doing more, learning more, earning more, experiencing more?

But sometimes I wonder when we will be able to just relax, just be in the moment. What happens when you achieve a goal. Do you just plateau? Rest on your laurels?

I guess I thought that once we arrived here it would be good enough. Especially since I’ve always rolled my eyes at those who are never satisfied: Millionaires who want bigger houses and then even bigger houses after that. Olympians who aren’t satisfied with Silver. Gold medalists who aren’t satisfied with Gold and want to win Gold two years in a row. Bigger, better, wider, faster, newer, more, more, more.

Is this what life is meant to be? Always looking around the bend? I am starting to question the purpose of life now. I mean, what is an ideal life? Seriously, in eutopia, in a perfect world, what would life be like?

I don’t think eutopia would be filled with people busily trying to look around the next bend. Eutopia would be living in the moment.

I don’t want to look around the bend. In fact, sometimes I just want to look down at my feet and stay here awhile. But Cameron might tell me to be practical. And maybe he’s right.

But a household with two practical thinkers is just no fun. Maybe that’s why we work together so well; I have the pipe dreams and he brings us back to reality. He transforms my dreams into bite-sized, achievable portions that actually happen. I shout some lofty ideas and he charts maps and figures out how we’re going to get there.

So no, I still haven’t figured out the meaning of life. However, I have figured out that every goal achieved has an endearing sweetness about it. Because soon enough that goal will be left behind, and new goals will rise on the horizon. So I hereby solemnly swear to savour the sweetness and live in the moment while I can. To ride the thrill and exhiliration of dreams and goals, both new and old.

On Valentine’s Day

February 14, 10 //

On Valentine’s day you’re supposed to be in love with someone who loves you back. On Valentine’s day you’re supposed to look fabulous, go out for a glamorous meal in high-heeled shoes, open up a sparkly gift that comes in a tiny box, and come home to candles and music turned low.

Kind of like how we’re all supposed to throw dinner parties and have perfect lives like the people on TV who have time to do everything: career, family, exercise, hobbies, friends, coiffed hair, entertaining.

As I’ve grown up I realize that nobody has this perfect life. Nobody. We may look around and think that other people have it. In an unorthodox way, you may even think that Cameron and I have it. But we don’t. We’ve got a lot, but we don’t have that.

There is this notion of what a life should be like: have a spouse, be fabulous, achieve anything, do everything, raise children, stay married, be perfect.

You can do a lot with your life, but odds are you’re never going to have all that. It’s a lot. Maybe all that is too much.

Maybe you’re single but you’ve got a job that you love. Maybe you’re married and happy but have a job that you hate. Maybe you’re having a terrible year. Maybe you’re having the best year of your life. Maybe you’re going through a divorce. Maybe life sucks. Maybe you’re so happy you could grasp everyone by the shoulders and shout “I love my life!” Maybe you’ll experience all of these things at some time in your life. Maybe you’ve had happy Valentine’s days. And maybe you’ve stayed home on Valentine’s day wondering when life was ever going to get better.

But all of this is what makes life beautiful. Every year is different. Every Valentine’s day is different. If you’re having a bad one, know that there will be others that are fabulous. I promise. And if you’re having a fabulous Valentine’s day, please enjoy it in all its glory.

Happy Valentine’s day to you, be it on the couch with a kleenex or cuddling in front of a crackling fire as the snow falls outside and the music plays on. Either way of spending the day is valid, and I’ve had my share of both. Today’s Valentine’s day is a good one, but I am never certain of what next year will bring. For that reason I choose to be happy and thankful for all that I have on this Valentine’s day.

Snow Angel

January 24, 10 //

When did you grow up?

When did you stop running at full-speed for no reason at all?
When did you stop rolling around in the snow just for fun?
When did you stop swimming at the pool or playing baseball in the hot sun?

Maybe one of the reasons to have children is to come full circle, to play in the snow and laugh and tickle and ride amusement park rides and feel the magic of childhood all over again.

Life is one big circle.

The Objectification of Love

January 11, 10 //

As recently noted, we’ve been busy and have been doing a juggling act between businesses, home renovation, and real life.

It’s no secret that this has been a tough year for me. I have certainly alluded to some struggles: worrying about everything, not appreciating the ones we love, and general confusion about what I should be doing with my life.

Ever since we met as teenagers, there have always been ups and downs between Cameron and I. Cam is an excellent communicator, and we usually come out of bad spells closer than ever, having learned a lot about the other person.

During a recent heart-to-heart conversation, we talked about love. We talked about what it means to be loving and show that the other person is special to you.

We both agreed that we could both be doing a little more in the department of secret love notes and general ooey-gooey niceness.

In my defence, I explained to him that I had been showing love in tangible ways. Like, didn’t he realize that when I went grocery shopping and I kept the pantry stocked with his favourite foods it meant love?

And didn’t he realize that once a year when I vacuumed under the bed that meant love?

And didn’t he realize that when I wash bowls in the bathroom sink it’s a tangible, real demonstration of my love?

“Don’t you get it?” I asked. “Food is love. Clean dishes mean love.”

“Oh.” He said. “I wasn’t really thinking about that as love. I thought that was just part of our relationship–the things we do for ourselves and each other on a daily basis. That’s not really the same thing as a foot massage or a love letter. Like, do you feel loved when I change the oil in the car?” He asked. “”Or do you feel loved and special when I clear snow from the driveway?”

“Oh.” I said. “No, when you do that stuff I just appreciate it, I guess. It doesn’t make me feel loved and special…per se.”

“No.” He said. “It doesn’t.”

We looked at each other. I blinked. He blinked.

Later that week, there were Post-It notes with hearts on them. And a rose found its way into our humble abode.

I recently realized that clean dishes are not love. Or they are just part of love–they are not all of it. And they are certainly not enough.

So maybe it’s okay to leave a pile of unwashed laundry in the hamper and instead take a long walk holding hands. In fact, maybe it’s absolutely necessary.