A Day in the Life of Cameron
Posted on 12. Jan, 2009 by Laura-Jane - Whimfield in House, Inspirations, Personal
I don’t seem to mention much about Cameron these days. It must be because I am trying to collectively ignore him. If I didn’t ignore him, my guilt would explode into a thousand crystal niblets and I’d be left lying in a crystalized pile on the floor next to the mountain of broom sweepings (that did get swept up…eventually).
You see, for the first eight months that we’ve lived in this house, we’d been working as a cohesive unit. We did the roof together, we drywalled together, we were one little happy renovation machine. We listened to CBC Radio all day together while we worked, and we were full-time renovators.
But then, in September, I stopped helping. One day I just stopped helping with the renovation–cold turkey. We agreed that I would focus on our business, and he would continue on with the house renovation…all alone.
Over the past three-to-four months he’s been working by himself on our house for 10 hours a day. While he’s upstairs working away, I choose to ignore him. I sit on my computer doing work. Or reading blogs doing research. Or writing Whimfield posts. Or drinking hot chocolate. Or maybe talking on the phone. Even right this second, he’s sanding a door or a wall or something. I can hear it, but he’s all alone up there.
When he comes downstairs through my office area, I don’t look at him. I’ve set up bizarre rules that are as follows, “Cameron cannot interrupt me while I am writing and working. I am a delicate genius; I cannot be disturbed.”
Occasionally he comes downstairs for a glass of juice or a bagel. He’s covered in drywall dust and exhausted from head to toe. I glare at him for disturbing me. He tries to tip-toe past but it’s not quiet enough for my liking. I glare some more and rip open a package of ear-plugs with my nose in the air.
He drinks juice and slides back upstairs and commences grinding and sanding for six more straight hours.
Sometimes I yell upstairs. “Cam, the internet is not working!!!!!” and he comes downstairs to perform feats of magic on my computer. I then say, “Thanks, goodbye!” And he slinks back up again to his mistress, the belt sander.
And this is how it is in our household is these days. Sometimes we come together for meals. But more often than not he’ll come downstairs at the end of the day and I’ll say, “I already ate cereal for dinner because I was hungry and you were still working. There are no more clean dishes. Can you blow out the driveway now? By the way, my internet is not working again. Thanks, goodbye.”
Cameron, do you still love me? I love you. You’re the hardest worker I’ve ever met. You’re a delicate genius, too. Thanks for all that you do.
Vicki
Jan 13th, 2009
Cameron you are amazing!! But then I already knew that didn’t I!!
Laura-Jane - Whimfield
Jan 13th, 2009
A mother’s love… Lol. Vicki, do you still like me?
Amanda
Jan 13th, 2009
I agree. Those closest to us are most often forgotten, or ignored. How do we solve this?
Gary Gray
Jan 13th, 2009
Hay Cam and Laura-Jane
Some one once gave me two keys to a healthy relationship.
They told me that one key to a good relationship is balance. Spend some time together and some time alone. Try to balance things so that it is not all one way or the other.
Communication I think was what they told me the other key was. Budget time to be together, talk together, laugh together, dream together, share thoughts together and cry together. (oh yes and plan together)
Relationships are like fine china. Beautiful but fragile, easily broken if not handled tenderly and almost impossible to mend or replace if broken. Taken care of they become like a family treasure valued forever.
So I guess the moral of this comment (if there is one) is we need to get things done and we need our alone time but don’t forget to spend time together.
Wishing you and Cam a wonderful relationship now and for many tomorrows to come.
I really like this little bible quote of what love is
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Smiles :o)
Gary
CWJ
Jan 13th, 2009
Another case of a sensitive man being exploited by a brutish woman. *Sigh*.
Vicki
Jan 13th, 2009
Well said Gary.
shonna
Jan 13th, 2009
pour him a bowl of cereal next time and leave it for him when hes ready. now thats love.
Kim
Jan 13th, 2009
Oh, thank you, Laura-Jane, I’m going to make hubz read this when he gets home from work!
You see, he tries to FORCE me into helping him build this house, the nerve! I told him before we moved that building the house was his jurisdiction; I would take care of the rest, ie: cooking, cleaning, tending the garden and the livestock. (My cooking ain’t the best but it keeps him alive and kicking… and working…)
That’s not asking for too much, is it?
Yet he insists I help him drag massive beams across the yard, or hand him boring wads of insulation for hours on end, the cheeky bugger! Anyway, it sounds like you put in your time!
You made my day, honey, now I’m going to spend the rest of it doing nothing and feeling damned good about it, too!
Laura-Jane - Whimfield
Jan 13th, 2009
@Amanda – I asked Cameron your question. We joked for awhile about how if I baked goodies, like cookies and brownies, all the time then maybe it would be better. But obviously, that’s not a real answer. :)
I think it’s not about *what* we do, it’s how we go about it. Like, in my example, it’s okay that he’s working hard on the house and I’m working hard on other stuff. That in and of itself is not the problem. It’s really about the actual appreciation, as you mention. Just taking ten minutes during the day to acknowledge what the other person is doing, say thank you, be appreciative, be kind, and as Shonna mentioned below, pour a bowl of cereal for the other person. Little changes like that can turn a bad situation into a good one. (I really must do these things more.)
The same could go for a stay-at-home parent or anything else. It doesn’t take much to (a) come home and say “Where’s my dinner?” versus (b) come home and say, “Wow, the house looks great. I missed you today…. What should we have for dinner?” Turns everything upside down.
@Gary – So wise, so wise. Love this: “Relationships are like fine china. Beautiful but fragile, easily broken if not handled tenderly and almost impossible to mend or replace if broken. Taken care of they become like a family treasure valued forever.”
Because we’re both working at home it’s hard to figure out when we’re “working” and when we’re “not working.” I do think that you’re right, we need to actually schedule time to spend together otherwise…it won’t be good!
@CWJ – Well, but, um, uh, the thing is, but, um… alright, maybe you’re right. But…I think there’s some good here still. There must be! (There is.)
@Shonna – I love it. Your comment makes me think, “Now here’s a woman who knows how to love.” :)
Laura-Jane - Whimfield
Jan 13th, 2009
@Kim – Hehe, I wonder what your other half will think of this??
Oh, the handing of wads of insulation… The handing of tools and, in our case, the “can you find me this” and the “where is that” were integral!
Someone was recently telling me a funny story about house moving. In the old days, a lot of houses on PEI were moved from one location to the other. (Don’t ask me how they actually moved them, but I imagine with a lot of hard work, of course.) While the houses were being moved along the roads or whatever, the women would be INSIDE the houses making food for everyone. Isn’t that crazy?
christy
Jan 13th, 2009
that house moving comment is soooo true!! they slept in them at night while they were “on the road” too. my grandparents have stories and stories and tons of pictures; my grandma’s childhood home was moved when their farm was taken away by eminent domain (in the 1940’s for a park) and my grandpa’s family had to move 3 houses when their farm was taken away (in the 1940’s too for an airport). that is why they are so against eminent domain.
christy
Jan 13th, 2009
i can tell your love will last a lifetime just from the little bit i read on here. cereal dinners or not.
but something i’ve always wondered is, why arent you two married? is that in the future? :)
Laura-Jane - Whimfield
Jan 14th, 2009
Thanks, Christy. :) You ask a good question about the marriage thing.
It’s kind of a weird topic for me. I’ve never had dreams of having a perfect wedding. In fact, I always dreaded the thought of a big day focused on me. I would certainly get a giant pimple on the tip of my nose from the stress, which would *not* look good in the wedding photos.
I am also a little wary of making promises that I am not sure whether I can keep. All I can say is that I love Cameron right now as much as anyone can ever love a person. We’ve been together for over ten years and it has been and is wonderful. Will I still love Cameron in thirty years’ time? I think I will and I can totally envision a future where I will. But people live to be 99! How much will he and I change over the next SIXTY years? Will we grow in the same ways? I have no idea, and that I cannot control. What I can control is today and I am sort of obsessed with living in the moment, although I do try to plan for the future.
Some may say that I over-think these things, and that may be true. But it’s these kinds of questions that also make me freaked out to have houseplants, pets, and children.
Um, yes. Does that answer the question?
christy
Jan 14th, 2009
sorta kinda…..i am freaked out about having children so i can see your point!!! you just freak out over much more (houseplants?!) LOL.
Sal
Oct 11th, 2009
Cameron has such an engaging face!
He loves you a lot – consider yourself very very lucky!