I’ve never been much of a resolution maker. I do decide to make changes throughout the year, but I don’t tend to make resolutions during a specific time, such as at the turn of the year.
The standard new year resolutions are to quit smoking, stop excessive drinking, lose weight, and get physically fit. Thankfully, I don’t have many external vices (me being a non-drinking, non-smoking, non-gambling, non-meat-eating gal), although losing weight and getting physically fit are certainly wise ideas for most of us.
No, I seem to have a handle on the external world just fine. It’s my internal world that is unable to be controlled as well as I’d like it to be.
They’re not resolutions per se, but I have been working on the following for the last six months:
- STOP WORRYING ALL THE TIME.
- DON”T BE SO SCARED TO MAKE MISTAKES.
- BE NICER.
I have pretty much failed on all accounts, but not for lack of trying. I suppose it’s just that my three non-resolution resolutions all involve trying to train my brain to do other than what it instinctively does, and, by George, that is hard to do. Not impossible, but hard!
Do you make resolutions? Are they worth doing? And, lastly, how do you control your brain when you want it to take cues from someone else’s more laid-back brain?
“Stop worrying all the time.”
Laura-Jane, that IS a tough habit to break! It’s the worst sort of habit, often (in my case) overshadowing all the good things in life.
Keep working on it – it can be done! As well as your other resolutions. So long as you are aware, anything can be accomplished!
Happy 2010!
Laura
I think you are nice I don’t beleive you not to be but then again Cameron would know that. You don’r need to worry since you are living a dream and there are real no mistakes since living is learning.
I liked yesterdays blog with the getting up early and going out, you still make me laugh at your life exsperience’s. And it is nice to let Cameron sleep.
Hope you have an Cameron have a great new year and the wife and I can’t wait for our summer return to the island from Ontario.
This year we are coming for two months which will be great and I hope you would like to meet us again over lunch.
George/ Jennifer
I make one resolution at the beginning of each week – ‘What can I do better this week than last?’- rather than at this time each year.
I accept my character and thoughts without restraint. They are there for a reason but I keep working at making improvements that keep me in balance.
Sometimes when I see qualities in another person I want to have, I ‘impersonate’ that person (like one would do in theatre) and try to adopt it gradually as part of my character until it either becomes me or doesn’t. I never force the issue.
I want to learn everything possible Right Now. My wife wants to learn Gradually. Like the old swordmaker, we temper and strengthen each layer of ourselves, then we fold these layers onto each other to further temper and strengthen. We still retain our own sides, our own edges that are reflected as we are honed into the strength of certainty.
Happy 2010!! All of our <3 !! xo
Hi L-J
Very cool post! I personally think that you do well in all of the above categories.
However, I do understand and have experienced anxiety, worry and fear. Training the brain is something that I have a fascination with ever since my stroke in 2002.
My research and experimen-tation has convinced me that training the brain is very possible.
Worry, fear and anxiety can be managed as well.
Of course the bottom line is that you have managed to reign in your external vices. It is absolutely possible to manage the internal ones as well. That will allow you or for that matter any of us, to gain happiness, peace and tranquility in our lives as well as those who share in them.
As far as nicer is concerned. I think you have that covered. When you let your natural personality shine, you are as nice as anyone could be. Just remember to keep your personality light turned on.
Smiles :o)
Gary
p.s. Sorry! It wasn’t my intention to play mr. fix it.
It’s a man thing! LOL
I hope you and Cam both have a GREAT 2010.
GG
Hi L-J
I started reading the ebook What Happens Now and came upon this section on strengths. Interesting!
If you want to read the entire book.
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/files/what-matters-now-1.pdf
STRENGTHS
Forget about working on your weaknesses —> Focus on
supporting your strengths.
I worked on my weaknesses for 40 years to little avail.
Still “needs improvement,” as they say. Why? Easy. We
hate doing things we’re not good at, so we avoid them.
No practice makes perfect hard to attain.
But my strengths – ah, I love my strengths. I’ll work on
them till the purple cows come home. When we love
what we do, we do more and more, and pretty soon
we’re pretty good at it.
e beautiful thing about being on a team is that,
believe it or not, lots of people love doing the things
you hate. And hate doing the things you love. So quit
diligently developing your weaknesses. Instead, partner
with someone very UNlike you, share the work and
share the wealth and everyone’s happy.
Relatedly, women are rather UNlike men and oen
approach problems and opportunities with a different
outlook. Yet books and coaches oen encourage us to
adopt male strengths and, lacking understanding, to
relinquish our own. e irony is, studies show that
more women in leadership translates unequivocally into
better business results.
Wouldn’t it make more sense for both men and women
to appreciate each other’s strengths so we all work on
what comes naturally?
Marti Barletta, speaker, consultant and author of Marketing to
Women and PrimeTime Women; is currently working on her
next book, Attracting Women: Marketing Your Company to the
21st Century’s Best Candidates
Oops, meant “What Matters Now”
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/files/what-matters-now-1.pdf
Smiles :o)
Gary
Dear Laura-Jane and Cameron!
Best wishes!!!
2010 hugs from Amsterdam…
Roelof&Ira
aw Laura Jane I am here, just… dealing with crap. I will blog this weekend and update. Thanks for thinking of us and Happy New Year!
yikes.. this coulda been written by me for me… slow down to go faster
amen
gp in montana
I am back, and I thought of you a lot over the holiday’s. I have to make sure to get a hold of your snail mail address = would you please send it to me.
A most glorious and exciting 2010 to you, and I promise to update soon :-)
Laura-Jane, I think your non resolutions are great ones. I have a resolution to be more humble and gentle to myself and others. I’ve found that I have a tendency to lean towards pride and arrogance. And I use the same ruler to judge myself as I judge others and I’m not gentle on my judging.
But I’ve noticed that the kinder I am to myself, the easier it is to be kinder to others.
Wishing you all the best in the Brand New Year!!
HNY to you, you magical blog writer you.
Worry….yeah, tough one. Seems we have a sort of brain burn, like that path our thoughts find it easiest to follow when we are stressed about something, it is burnt through the jungle that is our brain and when we allow stress to come in it just naturally goes that way. After years of stressing that path becomes a road, pretty soon a 4-lane….
Only thing that I have found that sort of works for me is to realize that if I focus on the ‘now’, like really focus on the present and what I am doing I can keep a handle on it. If I am focussed on NOW then what happens later is out of my mind so I am not stressed.
I am naturally a busy person, very little down time, can find a million ways to keep myself busy, not all of them productive but at least keeps me from being stressed.
When you are start you may want to read this blog I found…lovely girl who lives on a farm on the island who writes magic…. :)
Keep writing and stay happy.
I’m going to give up making excuses for not doing what I really want to do in life. My plan will rely on my conquering the first 2 of your resolutions. I’m also not letting money, time or age get in the way this year. I keep saying I’ll lost weight but at this point, I would bet that once I start living my authentic life, the weight will drop.
I would say don’t worry about not worrying all the time. Just don’t worry right now. Then once you can stop worrying, you can stop being scared.
As for being nicer, every year I as Providence for more compassion. Don’t know if I ever get it but it’s still worth asking for.
Stupid typos. I’ll “lose” weight and “ask” Providence.
Oh good! Found this blog again. Loved the trip tales and photos. Enjoyed the renovation of the beautiful old farm house. Have I missed any updated photos of the interior? Or exterior? Blog seems fancier than I recall- slick improvements. Continued good luck on all your projects and your new life! Is it ” home” yet?
Finally figured out the appeal of your blog- its all that good, clean living coupled with hard work to get what you want. Sacrifices and determination. Many your age just cant get their acts together. Your parents should be quite proud of you both! Its fun to witness your success along the way . Best to you and your readers in 2010. Ill check back sometime-for new photos
Like you-I don’t make resolutions either. I guess I just see change as something that is sometimes needed throughout the year instead of on the first day of the year.
I turned 50 in July so odds are there are fewer days ahead than behind. I like something Gary shared above about working on your strengths. I’m afraid I’ve already spent too much time working on my weaknesses. I’ve come to realize that I really don’t have time to devote to pondering, poking, nurturing or engaging with my weaknesses…
especially when I have better things to do.
Happy New Year
HAHA Join the club. Sorry I can’t help you my brain is trying to kill me!!!