Cameron and I both seem to have a love/hate relationship with traditions. On the one hand, traditions are lovely: doing the same thing year after year because it’s enjoyable and because, well, you did it last year is perfectly fine. But, at the same time, we sometimes give each other a worried look when we realize we’re redoing traditions from years gone by.
Case in point:
Last year, we cut down our Christmas tree from our own property. This year, we did the same thing, which is, of course, just fine.
We then proceeded to re-do the exact same Christmas portrait as last year. I suggested it, and he set up the camera.
Last year’s portrait:
This year’s portrait, taken in the exact same location:
After the camera flashed and the photo was taken, we gave each other funny, embarrassed looks, as if to say, “Well, that was fun. But are we going to do this again next year, for the third year in a row?”
We both get nervous when we feel like the future is rolling out in front of us and we can see its path. Time goes by fast enough as it is, but when you’re living in the same spot year after year memories just blur together into one giant melting pot of vague notions. I feel that at least if you’re located somewhere new, you’re experiencing new things and your memories seem to stand out more.
Am I crazy? Are traditions a good thing?
There are some traditions that I do enjoy. For example, I always have to have a real Christmas tree, and egg-nog and mandarin oranges have to be consumed on Christmas day. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without those three traditions.
So maybe it’s not the traditions that I object to. Maybe it’s knowing exactly where I am going to be when I set up my Charlie Brown Christmas tree, where I’m going to drink my creamy egg-nor, and where I’m going to peel my tiny orange that scares me. I want location, at least, to remain a mystery. I like to look to the future and see a big question mark. It keeps life exciting.
HI, wanted to link this for a long time.
don’t know but I think you might like it (I do : )
it is about the art of repetition I guess.
http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com
remember you writting about (not) showing the inside of your home and boxes under the bed etc:
http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/reports/50/janna.php
they wrote a book too full of assignments. it is great to read and act.
enjoy decorating the fresh tree : )
warmth, ira
The LTLYM project is REALLY COOL. I had never heard of it before. What I love about the internet is that sense of community. The way people can get together and share. Even the monotonous things like a photo of underneath your bed! I’ll have to check out some of the other assignments. There’s power in repetition, you’re right. It’s a showcase of all things different and the same at once.
Traditions help us know our compass point. Making changes to tradition helps steer us away from remaining so close to the shore and to venture out in discovering something new about ourselves.
Both give us perspective, but while traditions keep us secure in knowing where we stand, breaking away helps us know we are growing through new challenges and new experiences including friendships.
You’ve expressed exactly what I was feeling. If I’m reading you right, it seems that the key is about balance. Not staying too close to the shore, but also feeling like you’re out on your own, too. That helps to explain the simultaneous pull both for and against tradition…
One other thought on Christmas traditions.
Maybe start some new traditions like decorating a tree outside with suet (birds in winter would appreciate), or starting a neighborhood door-to-door choral (if neighbors aren’t too far apart)to bring some cheer to neighbors that might not get out, or selecting one non-profit and help them develop or improve their newsletter or website, or get a few neighbors together and create a special meal (w/ dessert of course!).
I like the thought of starting traditions that are not only pleasing (eggnog and tree) but also beneficial to more than just me.
Last year, we stayed home and had a pretty normal day as our Christmas. In fact, we can’t even remember what we did on Christmas last year (besides going to a Christmas party a few days before Christmas). That doesn’t seem right. It shouldn’t be just be a totally normal day. This year I suggested we volunteer to a soup kitchen or something like that (not even sure if they’d be open this time of year or not), but we’re not sure whether we’ll do that.
I love caroling. Has anyone had any carolers come to their door? I never have, but I’d love to be part of a caroling group.
Bradley, I wonder what your traditions are.
Love your Xmas tree tradition. Not everyone can just walk outside & find that perfect Xmas tree right in their backyard! I know Cam could never give up his favourite childhood tradition-the must have “Nanaimo Bar” (Mom’s receipe of course). Wonder what your readers favourite traditions might be? Merry Xmas to both of you.
I’ve never even made Nanaimo Bars because I am avoiding the, “Well, they’re okay, but they’re not like my Mom’s.” :)
You do make delicious Christmas baking. One of the Christmas traditions that we do sure miss! You used to always send us home with a tuppperware or two full of your specialties. We would gorge on the way home!
Merry X-mas, you two!
I find myself rebelling against traditions to some extent, but part of me just wants to make my own traditions. I’ve always wanted to have a cozy fireplace x-mas at my house, just me and my dearie and the guinea pigs with our stockings hung with care and all that. We always end up travelling from house to house to house instead. Maybe this year…
When we lived close to our family we did the same thing. Especially with divorced parents, that’s four households to visit in a short period of time! We certainly didn’t like the rushing. We enjoyed ourselves at everyone’s home, but we didn’t like how short we had to keep our visits and we always felt like it was too much for two days.
It brings up a good question. When does a couple of our age (late twenties/thirties) start to do their own Christmas? For many I suppose it starts when one has children. It’s really tough, because no one wants to give up those traditions from when we were kids, but there’s also that desire to create new traditions of our own.
It goes back to Bradley’s comment of push/pull and safety/newness, I suppose. Change is hard, and we certainly don’t want to disappoint parents by making the change. But when is it appropriate? We had that struggle when we were living closing to our family too. That’s not to say that we didn’t LOVE Christmases with our families. Of course, we did and I miss it greatly, especially at this time of year! But at the same time there was a desire to start our own traditions, just as our own parents did at some time in their lives.
How to do this? I do not know. We moved far away and are doing it now. But if we moved back close to family we would probably go back to the old tradition.
Children would change things I suppose. Children change many things, don’t they?!
Both Cinthia and I live far from our immediate families (her’s are in Brazil!). What we try to do in developing our own traditions yet keeping the families close in spirit is to exchange something simple that represents our environment or something we’ve been involved in.
We’ve received small pins (to put on a beret, for example) that represent cities or symbols in Brazil or a small bottle of sand from Florida with a short description of the day it was put in the bottle.
We’ve sent preserved maple leaves (no Fall colors in Brazil or Florida) or a small basket of pine cones or a small bit of fleece (and photo) from a sheep we’ve worked with.
Short videos of everyday activities or segments of a special weekend trip to a place others haven’t seen are also wonderful and appreciated as then people don’t seem so far away.
These simple but personal things are enjoyed by all; they are unique yet become a tradition as each year will be something different.
It’s all in the spirit of the season – sharing.
Merry Christmas you guys! Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Years. I hope one of your future traditions will be a visit to our farm once we move there. Even though it will be another 3 – 4 years I have already decided where the living room furniture will go and my christmas trees LOL
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Gord and I have a Christmas tradition of seeing a movie on Christmas Day … that’s about it :)
Happy Christmas!
I’m here via CBF :)
I agree that tradition can be worrisome. However, we were forcibly removed from tradition last year, as we had a sick child in a hospital hundreds of miles from home. We made the best of it for him, and it wasn’t ideal. Honestly, I would’ve wished nothing more than a traditional Christmas.
Our son passed away this past March.
Now that we have given up our home, and dealt with the more uncomfortable aspects of our new life, we needed an “anti-Christmas”; something to suppress, supplant, or scarify the “holiday”.
We were offered a timeshare in New Orleans, and had the time we needed to be adults, a couple, people, out there and somewhere, with little to no responsibility. It was exactly what we needed.