Do you ever wonder why we, as human beings, bother?
Wouldn’t it be simple to stay in one job for the rest of your life? Saving yourself the pain of quitting, interviewing, and struggling to learn new skills? Why bother going back to school, taking out loans, cramming until the wee hours of the morning?
Have you ever taken a vacation that requires so much effort, energy, and organization that you wonder why you didn’t just stay home?
Have you ever been in love with someone who breaks your heart? Wouldn’t it be easier to stay single forever, never loving but never feeling any pain?
And why bother having children? That seems like quite a bother!
I ask this question in all seriousness. Why do we bother?
The tail end of a hurricane was set to sweep over Prince Edward Island this weekend, and I found myself worried about the state of our home.
As much as I hate to admit it, I’m a worrier. I worry about leaks and floods and fires and explosions.
When I’m feeling low, I like to imagine that we’ll sell our house and go on a two-year road trip during which I’ll never have to think about home-ownership again.
When times get tough, I find myself wanting to shirk my responsibilities and disappear like a bohemian into the mist. Sometimes I wonder what we are doing and why we are bothering with all this. Sometimes I resent having all this responsibility.
Thankfully, by the time the hurricane came through our neck of the woods, it had diminished to a tropical storm and it felt just like an average blustery day for us here on Prince Edward Island.
At the beginning of this article I asked a legitimate question. Why do we bother?
No matter what the topic, be it switching careers, owning a home, or having children, we bother because of the good times. Because of love and light and warmth and happiness and pride and all those lovely, wonderful, good things. The good times are so good that they make up for the bad times. That’s how good the good times are!
It’s a simple concept. I call it the church of fifty/fifty. It’s my religion. I recognize that half of life is terrible, sad, tragic, unfair, disappointing, and cruel. And the other half is glorious and full of joy. When things are good, I try to remind myself to appreciate being loved and happy and healthy, because I know that there will be times when I am not so lucky. This I know; it’s how the world works.
So that’s why I bother. Why do you bother?
Because the world is big! I want to try as much of it as I can!
Because the alternative is sitting in the same place with the same people doing the same things thinking the same thoughts eating the same food… with nothing to look forward to but more of the same.
Instead, I’m working a job where I ALWAYS have to learn new things, and I’m writing in my spare time, and building a life with my husband, and learning to dance and climb… because these are hard things where I can enjoy the moments as well as the outcomes.
But sometimes I have to have a couple of days in bed, doing not-much, to remind myself that it isn’t how I want to live my life. : )
I bother because 50/50 odds are still pretty good. You’d have to be crazy not to take that gamble. That’s why Janet Gretzky bet on the Superbowl coin toss. :)
But as for home ownership…it’s really all about the money to me. I don’t want to be poor. I don’t want to be 70 and unable to retire because I’m still paying rent.
Laura-Jane, this is so beautiful and eloquent that I actually began to well up! You nailed it!
Well, as you were sitting and writing this entry we ( your loved ones) were having a party in your honour. We had a “Roof Party” and it was one of the good times! Good question. Why do we bother? I bother because I know it is worth it!!
I’m reading your post holding my ten day old baby girl in my arms. It’s definitely not all been easy. 30 hours of labour wasn’t easy, blistered and cracked nipples isn’t fun and marathon sleep deprivation takes it’s toll on even the most well supported person.
But I bother because it blows my mind to be responsible for someone else getting to experience even a fraction of what I have in my life. The everyday magic of grass and trees and bugs, feeling wind on her cheeks, squishing mud between her toes, eating wild strawberries, sunny days, rainy days, and having parents who love her. And maybe even learning how much you can really care for other people.
And in the little moments when maybe I don’t have the wide perspective; I bother because her smile lights up her face, just like her Dad.
Here in New Brunwick, just 10 km inland, the fall of 2005 brought us the tail end of Hurricane Katrina. I shall never forget the experience of winds so fierce they sounded like demons screaming in the walls. Everytime a strong gust of wind would threaten to blow down our house (really, there was no wind damage) I would dig my nails into the living room chair I sat in, closing my eyes and wishing it would all go away. In those moments, I realized how horrific it must be for those living in the worst conditions, losing everything. This was also the night we found out there was a bad leak in an upstairs window…. apparently a problem for many years but that’s another story.
Laura-Jane -
(I missed this one in it’s first posting, so am glad you linked to it again!)
Great stuff. And, you know, even though you’ve said you don’t consider yourself a religious person, you just described how faith works. My memory of the good times carry me through the dark times. Sign me up for the church of fiftyfifty…need a youth pastor? :-)
Phil, I guess it’s the faith that’s important rather than the faith-in-what, you know what I mean? And, of course, you’d be the first youth pastor I’d call upon if I ever needed one… :) But you knew that already.
because I am here!
I like that – good title for a chapter about roofs.. ;-)
Hey! I know you can write a book / blog? not sure how you make money on a blog
I think it’s not only part of human nature, but part of the essence of life itself. Life is prolific and unrelenting. It is against our nature to not live.
Two days ago I released a day old baby sea turtle from my hand into the crashing waves of the ocean. A great display of tenacity of life.
I think this quality carries over to human social lives. But the problem with us is fear. I think we would all be great but for fear.
But despite fear we plod along, succeeding and failing at times. Be our moments vivid or dreary, epic or forgotten.
Woo – I can only imagine the intensity of that moment with you, the sea turtle, and the crashing waves.
Fear is HUGE. Some of us (yes, ME) don’t even realize we have been or are living in fear until something happens to make us aware of it. Example: I am happy to divulge that the past year was hard, and I decided to go to a counsellor to help me deal with a bunch of crap. She was wonderful. She looked at me and said, “Holy moley, you are living in fear.” (paraphrasing, of course). I couldn’t believe what she was saying!!! Me, fearful?? No.
But….she was right.
Cam was recently saying that life is just an endless onslought of problems and small decisions. That that is what life is!!! It’s true. But as you note, despite it all we seem to plod along, succeeding and failing at times.
Will you ever get to touch a sea turtle again, or was that a once in a lifetime magical moment?
Actually, it was a very emotional moment. I was there with the Pam and the kids. In the course of five minutes you cannot help but bond with the delicate life in your hands. The turtle we held may very well outlive us. The kids were emotional and were more than teary eyed when we left.
I agree with your partner Cam that life is a series of problems and opportunities. The way I look at it, life would be boring without a little trouble.